Sex Toys for Beginners Part 6: Keeping it Clean

Cleaning your intimate toys isn't like cleaning anything else in your home. You can't just use dish soap or throw them in the dishwasher. Not only do some of them have electrical components, but the materials they're made from can be damaged or degraded by harsh cleaners. But keeping them clean is essential. So here's a bit of helpful info on how to keep dirty play clean!

This goes without saying (I really hope), but just like when you buy a bathing suit or new pair of skivvies, the very first thing you need to do with a new toy is clean and sterilize it thoroughly. No matter how much you're itching to take it out of the box and play. Depending on the type of toy in question, and the material it is made of, there are a few different ways to do this.

If your toy is electronic, make sure to remove batteries (or unplug it, obvs) before getting it anywhere near water. With electronic toys, unless they're meant to be used underwater, you'll want to clean it without immersing it fully in water, so no soaking or boiling. Just wash thoroughly and rinse avoiding gaps around battery enclosures.

If your toy is made of 100% silicone, you can boil it for a few minutes (as long as it's not electronic), wash it with a liquid antibacterial soap or even mix some bleach in with water to kill everything (1 part bleach to 9 parts water recommended dilution). If you use anything other than boiling water for any toys, make sure to rinse very well to remove any traces of soap or bleach from the toy.

Jelly and hard plastic toys are fine with a good washing with soap and water - I use a gentle antibacterial soap for this as well.

If your toy is made of a material called Cyberskin, they can be cleaned with hot tap water, using rubbing alcohol to disinfect periodically.

You can also use a custom toy cleaner - most stores that sell toys will also sell toy cleaners. These are good because you know they're safe to use on the material your toy is made of, they're designed to clean them thoroughly, and they're also designed to rinse away clean without leaving any traces of bleach or perfume that might irritate sensitive skin.

If you're not sure how to clean a toy, send an email to the store you purchased it from or the manufacturer and ask them what they recommend - better safe than crying over an expensive wrecked toy!

Sex Toys for Beginners Part 4: Rear Entry

Now that we've covered the basics, let's move on to the more intimidating class of toys - the ones for anal play. These aren't for the faint of heart, but they're not as scary as you might think, either!

When it comes to the back door, there are a few things to bear in mind, the most important being: don't lose anything up there. I once heard it described as "a hungry little orifice," which is a good way to think of it. If you look at toys that are custom-made for anal play, you'll notice that they either are on strings (anal beads) or have a base that is flared. This is because the muscles back there are very strong - and often move involuntarily. If you put something in there that you can't hold onto or that doesn't have a flared base, you could be in trouble - and end up making an embarrassing (and uncomfortable) trip to the doctor's office.

This isn't to say you can't use dildos that aren't custom-made for anal play, however if you do, make sure they have something to hold onto, and don't use so much lube that you lose your grip. Safety first, people!

If you're not sure where to start but are curious, I'd recommend starting off with something custom-made for anal play - and I'd go with something small, like this plug:

It's not too big, but you'll still want to go slowly. The muscles in the anal region aren't accustomed to letting things in, and it can feel pretty weird at first. If you try to go too fast you might find it uncomfortable and be put off by the whole idea. Don't rush it, and don't worry if you don't get as far as you want on your first try.

Anal beads are great too - the texture can be quite pleasing and they can be inserted early on during play and removed strategically to enhance orgasm. Again, be sure not to lose them up there! A great set to begin with is "Flexi Felix," which looks just as cute as it sounds, is relatively small and, as the name implies, flexible.

There are some toys designed for men to use in anal play specifically to stimulate the prostate (or p-spot). The Aneros is a great one because it's designed to move pleasurably automatically when muscles contract, and it has a tab to massage the pressure point in the perineum. Click on the link to see an informative video that will show you the toy and identify the different features.

Bonus Tip: Don't forget to use plenty of (water-based) lube!

Sex Toys for Beginners Part 3: The Size and Shape of It

Once you've got the vibrator sorted out, a dildo is the next logical step. These come in all sorts of variations - different sizes, shapes, textures, some that vibrate, have flashing lights, pearls or ball bearings - whatever takes your fancy. I recommend starting with something that isn't too complicated, like this one:

Some of the benefits of this one are that it's easy to clean and take care of (it's silicone so you can boil it or clean it in a bleach solution - more info on this coming in Part 7), doesn't run out of batteries, can be taken safely in the tub, and it even has a cavity that fits a vibrating bullet if you want some vibrations to go with it. Because this is silicone it gets warm pretty quickly and once it's warm, it'll stay that way for awhile.

Tip: If you hate the feel of a cold dildo, run it under warm water for a minute or so before playing so that it's body temperature.

Sex Toys for Beginners Part 2: Good Vibrations

Dildos. Vibrators. Cockrings. Butt plugs. If you're a newbie to the wonderful world of sex toys, you might find them a bit intimidating. But don't worry, we've all been there, and I've got some useful tips that can help ease you in slowly (somewhat like the aforementioned butt plug).

First things first, don't jump straight into the heavy stuff. Start off with something small, something that doesn't require a huge investment of money or effort to enjoy, and something that you wouldn't be too embarrassed walking up to the counter with. Like this little beauty:

I know quite a few ladies who began their sex toy collections with this little wonder. It's not too high-tech, it's not too expensive, and you can adjust the controls to find what rhythm and intensity suit you. You can insert it (wherever you want) and use the remote control to find the perfect vibration setting. You can also use it on the clitoris directly.

Aside from the fact that it's a versatile and fun toy to play with, it's small and simple enough that it's not intimidating - to a girl as her first toy (whether she buys it for herself or whether an open-minded partner gets it for her) or to her partner. It can be used solo or with your partner, and can be really fun for both parties - especially if his or her tongue gets tired! It's also pretty easy to find one either at your local adult toy shop or online - lots of brands make them and they're pretty popular! If you only ever buy one toy, I'd recommend this one.

Bonus Tip: You can often buy spare bullets in case you wear out the motor on your first one!