A Week of Sex: January 28-February 3

You guys, there is so much going on on the internet to do with sex every week, it's seriously impossible to pick a reasonable number of links to share! I'm trying, I really am. On the plus side, for those of you who are as insatiable as I am, this'll give you a few hours of entertainment. Enjoy, on me. (Get your minds out of the gutter. Not literally. You know, like a drink. NO NOT A BODY SHOT. I give up on you people.)

• 7 Ways Sex Can Kill A Marriage

Or rather, 7 ways lack of sex can kill a marriage. Mostly pretty common sense, but there might be one or two things in here you haven't figured out yet. Okay, probably not, because by just being here you're clearly very smart. 

• The Hook-Up: Porn and Talking to the 'Rents

A little too much 'hip' lingo, but still. Good, sound info, balanced perspectives and clearly intelligent authors. So I can forgive 'em for trying a little hard. I'm sure it plays excellently to the over-dramatic teen crowd, which is their target demo.

• Married Couples Who Have Sex Less Than Once A Month Are In Trouble

The title is a bit misleading... the point is, in a successful relationship, both partners should feel happy with their sex life. Whenever & however it works for them.

• Things You Should Consider Having Sex for Instead of Coachella Tickets

Totally just for fun. Asian dude posts on Craigslist offering Coachella tickets ("It might even be a VIP pass if you're lucky") if you are basically the perfect blonde or brunette girl who promises to put out. Are you f**king kidding me? 

• Twitter Vine porn: searches for explicit content banned on app

Twitter's new Vine app, which allows people to share short videos, is now embroiled in a porn scandal. Of course.

• Porn Stars Acting Out Internet Memes: The Most Confusing-Sexy Thing You’ll See Today

They're right. It is confusing.

• Here’s the Adorable Porn Site Super Bowl Ad That CBS Rejected

Sick of Budweiser and car commercials at the Superbowl? Me too. If only they'd approved this one for Pornhub. 

• Berkeley sex surrogate: ‘My work is like cooking school’

An interview with Carol Cohen Greene, sex surrogate and the woman behind Helen Hunt's character in The Sessions.

• Virginity And Sexual Satisfaction: Our First Time May Impact Our Future Sex Lives, Says Study

A new study shows that apparently how your 'first time' went could impact how much you enjoy your sexual encounters later in life. Not to put any more pressure on a rite of passage that is often fumbling, painful, awkward and over way too fast or anything.

That's it for another week of sex - if I missed anything fun, funny or just plain awesome, share in the comments!

TGIF

Sex Toys for Beginners Part 4: Rear Entry

Now that we've covered the basics, let's move on to the more intimidating class of toys - the ones for anal play. These aren't for the faint of heart, but they're not as scary as you might think, either!

When it comes to the back door, there are a few things to bear in mind, the most important being: don't lose anything up there. I once heard it described as "a hungry little orifice," which is a good way to think of it. If you look at toys that are custom-made for anal play, you'll notice that they either are on strings (anal beads) or have a base that is flared. This is because the muscles back there are very strong - and often move involuntarily. If you put something in there that you can't hold onto or that doesn't have a flared base, you could be in trouble - and end up making an embarrassing (and uncomfortable) trip to the doctor's office.

This isn't to say you can't use dildos that aren't custom-made for anal play, however if you do, make sure they have something to hold onto, and don't use so much lube that you lose your grip. Safety first, people!

If you're not sure where to start but are curious, I'd recommend starting off with something custom-made for anal play - and I'd go with something small, like this plug:

It's not too big, but you'll still want to go slowly. The muscles in the anal region aren't accustomed to letting things in, and it can feel pretty weird at first. If you try to go too fast you might find it uncomfortable and be put off by the whole idea. Don't rush it, and don't worry if you don't get as far as you want on your first try.

Anal beads are great too - the texture can be quite pleasing and they can be inserted early on during play and removed strategically to enhance orgasm. Again, be sure not to lose them up there! A great set to begin with is "Flexi Felix," which looks just as cute as it sounds, is relatively small and, as the name implies, flexible.

There are some toys designed for men to use in anal play specifically to stimulate the prostate (or p-spot). The Aneros is a great one because it's designed to move pleasurably automatically when muscles contract, and it has a tab to massage the pressure point in the perineum. Click on the link to see an informative video that will show you the toy and identify the different features.

Bonus Tip: Don't forget to use plenty of (water-based) lube!

A Week of Sex: January 20-27

This was a big week. I tried for two days to narrow this down, and I have finally given up. On the plus side, there should be something of interest to pretty much everyone here - even if cartoon-spoof porn is your thing. No, I'm not joking. 

• Sexuality expert donates archive to Cornell

As if there weren't already 50,000 reasons to love Susie Bright - now the sexpert is donating her archives (she's been writing about sexuality and feminist issues since the 1970s) to Cornell University. The archives 'document the “historical shifts in the social construction of sexuality, with a focus on U.S. lesbian and gay history and the politics of pornography.”' If you don't know who Susie Bright is, go introduce yourself to her work immediately. 

• Harlotry: My Sex Work Persona Versus My Real Life Relationships

Ever wonder what goes through the minds of sex workers while they're dancing/stripping/etc.? Take a peek.

• 10 Tips For The Aspiring Feminist Dominatrix

And if you ever wondered if the lofty heels of the dominatrix were the perfect fit for your dainty tootsies, here's a primer.

• Student proposes panic button for sex workers

Because of the nature of sex work, sex workers not only work outside the law in a private, often secluded and uncontrolled environment, but are socially stigmatized. This is a bit like a Bermuda triangle of risk, making them targets for all sorts of abuse and violence if they're not careful and lucky. UBC students are proposing a pilot program to provide 100 sex workers in Vancouver's Downtown East Side (DTES) with panic buttons with GPS that only activate when triggered, thus removing the "big brother" concern associated with similar devices.

• Does porn hurt relationships?

Spoiler alert: No.

• Pornography is corrupting our youth, and good on Diane Abbott for having the guts to say so

Another perspective on porn deals with what today's hypersexualized culture (sexting, slut-shaming, porn - even advertising and mainstream media) is doing to children growing up with it. 

• University Of Toronto Sex Club: School's Sexual Awareness Event A Huge Deal

Yeah, you read that right. An orgy that enables students to explore an "adult playground," including public nudity and sex, is not only being tolerated but being backed by the University. I totally picked the wrong post-secondary institution.

• 'SpongeBob' Porn Parody, 'SpongeKnob SquareNuts,' Makes Web Splash (Video)

I'm all for a good parody. Some of my favourite pornos are parodies. But is XXXing Spongebob taking it just a little far?

• LeAnn Rimes Brags About Giving Eddie Cibrian Sex “Whenever He Wants It”

It's nice to see a lady admitting to loving having sex with her partner this much. It tugs at the heartstrings. Really. I may have even said "Aw."

• Sundance or 'Porndance'? Two decades on from sex, lies and videotape

I'm so proud of Sundance this year. Also really wishing I coulda been there.

• Here’s James Franco Saying More Stuff About Porn

A wee interview about a little film called Kink (that I talked about in this post) and the trailer for the film itself. Best quote? "If pornography was high school, we would be the goth table."

• The War of the Jameses

Turns out two of my favourite Jameses - James Franco, blockbuster star turned porn aficionado, and James Deen, porn star turned The Canyons leading man - want to bring the now legendary character from 50 Shades of Grey, Christian Grey, to life on the big screen. I'd watch either of them so I'm having trouble picking sides. I like to picture them mud wrestling for the honours - but that might just be me.

Phew. Toldya. And with that I'm dragging my exhausted ass to bed. Hope my hard work gave you some entertainment!

"He Was Killed By Belladonna..."

That was my first thought too. Guess both Dean and Felicia Day are my soulmates. I'm totally okay with that.

Sex Toys for Beginners Part 3: The Size and Shape of It

Once you've got the vibrator sorted out, a dildo is the next logical step. These come in all sorts of variations - different sizes, shapes, textures, some that vibrate, have flashing lights, pearls or ball bearings - whatever takes your fancy. I recommend starting with something that isn't too complicated, like this one:

Some of the benefits of this one are that it's easy to clean and take care of (it's silicone so you can boil it or clean it in a bleach solution - more info on this coming in Part 7), doesn't run out of batteries, can be taken safely in the tub, and it even has a cavity that fits a vibrating bullet if you want some vibrations to go with it. Because this is silicone it gets warm pretty quickly and once it's warm, it'll stay that way for awhile.

Tip: If you hate the feel of a cold dildo, run it under warm water for a minute or so before playing so that it's body temperature.

Condoms are Cramping Porno Valley's Style

Working in porn carries certain risks. Not least of which is the risk of catching an STD - HIV in particular. This is an issue porn production companies are not unaware of, and (at least on this continent) they put measures in place to minimize the risk of transmission amongst actors. But, the fact of the matter is, these risks exist.

Near the end of 2012, a proposed piece of legislature called "Measure B" was approved, mandating the use of condoms on all porn set in LA County - an area many adult entertainment companies and porn stars call home. Though hailed as a major coup by HIV/AIDS activism groups, the new law has not been as popular with adult entertainment producers - or the actors working in the industry.

In December 2012 James Deen (a porn actor primarily, but who will be starring alongside Lindsay Lohan in upcoming Brett Easton Ellis flick, The Canyons) spoke out on the subject, calling the measure unnecessary and further stating that the actors working in the adult entertainment industry are just that - adults - capable of weighing health risks and making their own informed decisions.

Perhaps not surprisingly, 2013 has brought with it a lawsuit in which Vivid Entertainment and porn stars Kayden Kross and Logan Pierce are suing the government over the law, claiming that it is unconstitutional and breaks their first amendment rights to freedom of expression.

I can see both sides of this particular debate. On the one hand, if you work in an industry where unprotected sex is the norm, even if you're a consenting adult, it might be difficult (or impossible) to say no to unprotected sex and still get work. There's also the issue of infection spreading faster than in the general population, and crossing over into it. But these are not new issues, and let's face it, there are plenty of people engaging in risky sex with multiple partners without getting paid for it.

On the other hand, for many - if not most - adult film stars, working bareback is something they are not only okay with, but prefer. And who's to tell them they can't do what they want with their bodies? No one's making everyone who hooks up at a club on Friday night for a one-night stand wear condoms by law, and some of them have gone without any form of testing for much longer and engaged in riskier behaviour than the porn stars in question. At least with porn stars, there's an added incentive not to take stupid risks - since if they contract an STD they'll be temporarily or permanently unable to work in the industry.

This is one of those issues I'm having a hard time picking a side on.

What do you think?